Well, folks…i looks like Monica Foster took our advice and decided to become a professional comedian. Seeing that PWL viewers know here best, Monica and PWL thought it would be a golden opportunity if she could debut her act her on PWL, test out her material, and see what kind of response she gets.
So here it is…
A collection of recent Monica Foster tweets compiled in order and written over the last 24 hours…
THIS is comedy gold!!!!
PWL presents…Monica Foster!!!! (Applause and commentary by PWL)
“I won’t be tweeting for some time my peeps. Bye.”
(…5 minutes later – pwl)
“I’m selling all my websites and blogs. If anyone would like to buy one or all of them let me know.”
(The bidding shall start at $1 – pwl)
“Received yet another weird threat today so I am moving. Nothing ever works out – goes to show you shouldn’t bother to ever try. Depressed.”
(That was probably a job offer dummy – pwl)
Again, I’m selling all my websites and blogs. If anyone would like to buy one or all of them let me know.
($2? – pwl)
“The remainder of my time here in Los Angeles I’m available for bookings and dinner dates too.”
(Don’t call us we’ll call you – pwl)
“If there is anyone is in the Los Angeles area who would like a wonderful 10 year old black and white Shih Tzu please let me know.”
(Breaking up? – pwl)
“Also if there is anyone in the Los Angeles area who would like an older but lively albino peachfaced lovebird let me know. will post pics.”
(albino peachpuzz lovebird twitter porn?! – pwl)
“Anyone who wants to book me for anything – you can do so through www.MonicaF.com – click “contact” – limited time only.
(There is a donkey we’d like to see you fuck – pwl)
“That’s it, going to bed. Got 2 more threatening phone calls from some guy ranting he’s “going to kill my ungodly nigger ass”.
(It’s called phone sex Monica. You’re supposed to charge by the minute. – pwl)
“Know what, I think that it’s true about Shelley lubben working with a Christian extremist group in regards to pornwikileaks.”
(You’re getting warmer Monica….go to hell – pwl)
I think it all started out with Donny Long but somehow fatass Shelley lubben got her psycho Christian extremists to help.
(Does this mean we be saved? – pwl)
“I wish I’d never given that bitch or her group a chance because not only are they users, they are like a cult. I have people in porn threatening me and kkk religious freaks harassing me.”
(kkkool! – pwl)
“If I end up dead and it looks like a suicide I DID NOT kill myself.”
(It THAT your final tweet? – pwl)
“Read my Monica Foster blog on monicafoster.blogspot.com so you can see who to investigate. I’m scared to death that I might not make it through the night.”
(Go to bed! – pwl)
“I’m already trying to move but these psychos want me dead asap now because I know the truth about them all. All these people I have dealt with in and out of porn are all mafia scam artists and extortionists.”
(We’re you expecting The Brady Bunch when you entered porn? – pwl)
“The pink cross is a scam, so is the fsc and all the porn studios are fronts for prostitution rings. If I die it’s just because I told the truth and didn’t give up in trying to follow my dreams and ideals.”
(Not funny. Needs a rewrite. Try using wet dream in this joke. – pwl)
“You want to kill me fuckers? Bring it. Please people remember I am NOT suicidal. These people I think will try to kill me soon and make it LOOK like a suicide.”
(It’s your first show so we’d suggest not dying on stage for the first show. – pwl)
“If I wind up dead please investigate fully Jerry Aharony, Jeff Mullen, Shelley Lubben, Michael Fattorossi and Kelli Internet Services. I am afraid. Goodnight.”
(Whew! Okay Monica, thanks for dropping…BYE! – pwl)